The Path of Devotion and Transition: My Journey with Lama Ole Nydahl, Khenchen Trinlay Paljor Rinpoche, and Vajrayana Buddhism

Karma Gyurme Namgyal - Aaron Crook 

February 21, 2025

The Beginning: Discovering Buddhism

In May 1998 on the full moon of Saga Dawa Düchen, I met Lama Ole Nydahl and his wife, Hannah for the first time. At that time, I was a 20-year-old college student at the University of Wisconsin, La Crosse. My Philosophy professor, Kenn Maly, had been leading a Taoist meditation group on campus, but one day, he announced that he was transitioning the group from Taoism to Buddhism. He had discovered a book by Lama Ole Nydahl in a used bookstore, wrote him a letter, and received two handwritten responses encouraging him to attend a Phowa retreat in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I still have one of the letters.

Kenn invited all his students to join him. I decided to go. The night before we were to leave, Kenn expressed doubts about attending. Determined, I told him that I would drive from La Crosse to Albuquerque alone if necessary, in my 1985 rusty Subaru station wagon. Kenn called me back 20 minutes later and said “we’re going!”. We departed at 4 AM.

Neither of us knew what awaited us. The retreat marked the beginning of the rest of our lives. We met Lama Ole, took Buddhist refuge, and immersed ourselves in the rigorous five-day Phowa retreat. Despite our limited experience, we knew without doubt that we were forever changed. We both felt indescribable blessing and gratitude. We giggled like little boys because we both knew. When I returned home, I announced to my mother, "Mom, I’m Buddhist now for the rest of my life." Naturally, she responded skeptically, but I knew.

The Years of Dedication

Over the next nine years, I fully immersed myself in Diamond Way Buddhism. Six months after first meeting Lama Ole, Kenn and I drove across the country again to attend his retreat near New York City, and we brought two friends with us. Lama Ole promised to visit La Crosse, Wisconsin, and we scheduled a date. Just two months later I hit the road again from Wisconsin to San Francisco with a three-car caravan of friends to see “The Lama” yet again. From then on, Lama Ole and Hannah visited Wisconsin twice a year, and I dedicated myself to spreading the Dharma.

With great effort and joy, we established Buddhist centers in La Crosse, Madison, Chicago, Minneapolis, and other parts of the Midwest and introduced a lot of people to the Dharma. I also traveled with Lama Ole during the summer of 1999, visiting Poland, Russia, Siberia, and Ukraine. As a young man of 21, these travels were eye-opening and forever life-changing.

One particular memory stands out—sitting alone in the night with Lama Ole near the beach on the Pacific coast of El Salvador. He spoke about the importance of never breaking Samaya, the sacred bond with one’s Vajrayana teacher. He emphasized that, regardless of difficulties, maintaining a pure connection was absolutely necessary. He told me “even if you never want to see your vajrayana teacher again, you must always maintain a pure intention and attitude toward them by any means necessary” At the time, I listened attentively but did not realize how crucial this lesson would become, and the significance of him emphasising this point to me one-on-one in the balmy night-time Pacific ocean air.

The Crisis of Confidence

Lama Ole asked me to teach, I always felt ambivalent about it, but I also wanted to help people understand and establish their own connection to the Dharma. In the summer of 2006, while attending a retreat in Denmark, I encountered something that profoundly disturbed me. One of my Dharma brothers, someone I looked up to, and depended on, was struggling. I was still young, inexperienced, and had unresolved inner doubts. My confidence crumbled. I sought help from Lama Ole’s wife Hannah Nydahl, who lovingly supported me. Despite my efforts, I could not shake my doubts. Eventually, I decided I could no longer remain in Diamond Way Buddhism. One November, in Lake Geneva Wisconsin, I packed my suitcase, intent on leaving in the night without saying goodbye. As I was about to drive away, Hannah appeared in the darkness, gently touched my hand, and softly asked, "Where are you going?" Her kindness melted me, and she invited me back inside. The next day, when we parted ways, she held me in a long, deep embrace that seemed to never end. I was uncomfortable, then I realized that she was not letting me go, so I allowed myself to relax into it. She held me for several minutes like an immovable mountain. She loved me. Looking back, I believe she knew it would be our last meeting. Two months later, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Finding My Root Teacher

Shortly after Hannah's diagnosis, my best friend Robert introduced me to Khenchen Trinlay Paljor Rinpoche. Robert had met him while he was in retreat at a secluded forest hermitage, in Cochecton, New York. When Khenchen Rinpoche returned again after a few years in Taiwan, Robert insisted I meet him. I joined Robert at Newark Airport in New Jersey, and an endearing old monk with a red hat and robes appeared at the arrival gate. Within an hour of meeting Khenchen Rinpoche, I was struck by an inconceivable vajra-like certainty—I knew he was my teacher… forever. Since that moment in January 2007, not even the slightest or most subtle doubt has ever entered my mind towards him. Never. It took me months to process the intensity of the feeling of meeting him.

Three months later, Hannah passed away. I received the news from Copenhagen in the moment of her last breath while sitting with Khenchen Rinpoche in his hermitage. We told him, and he immediately conducted the Amitabha puja for her. I sat together with him and my children for the chanting, with unstoppable tears flowing from my eyes. That moment marked the completion of one chapter, and the beginning of another.

The Transition and the Teachings of Devotion

Changing teachers in Vajrayana is not an easy decision. I knew I had to be respectful to both Lama Ole and Khenchen Rinpoche. In 2007, I traveled to New York City to meet Lama Ole face-to-face to formally request his permission to change teachers, and he granted it without hesitation. Pulling me close, he touched my head, blessed me with relics from the 16th Karmapa, and recited powerful protector mantras. Then, he set me free. He told me that Khenchen Rinpoche was a very wise and knowledgeable scholar and meditation master, and that I should learn as much as I can from him.

Within days, I went back to Khenchen Rinpoche at his hermitage and informed him. He responded, "I understand what a huge responsibility it is to be your teacher, and I fully and willingly accept that responsibility." From that moment forward, my path was clear, and I would have the gift of 15 precious years with him. Without the foundation and preparation Lama Ole had provided, I would not have been able to fully absorb Khenchen Rinpoche’s teachings and blessings. 

Lama Ole taught me the essence of Vajrayana—how to practice, how to hold the correct view, and how to engage with a teacher properly. Khenchen Rinpoche told me that Lama Ole is a living Buddha, and that he is very similar to the 16th Karmapa.

In June, 2007 the Diamond Way Buddhist community of New York City formally requested Khenchen Rinpoche to bestow empowerments. He agreed, and gifted us a program of four empowerments over two days in lower Manhattan. Together we received Green Tara, Vajrasattva, Marpa and Milarepa. He brought his dog Gema to the city because he didn’t want to leave her alone at the hermitage.

In preparation for the program, the Diamond Way Sangha decided that we would utilize Lama Ole’s custom made teaching “throne” for Khenchen Rinpoche to sit on during the empowerments. I picked it up in my large Honda van, and while It was parked outside of my home it was struck by lightning. The van was severely damaged, but the throne was not. When I told Khenchen Rinpoche he said “There was an obstacle, and now it has been removed”

The Dangers and Potential Benefits of Vajrayana

Vajrayana is known as the lightning path—swift in its results yet perilous without proper guidance. It requires an absolute commitment, careful preparation, and the altruistic intention of bodhichitta. Throughout history, enlightened teachers have warned that while its rewards are immense, its dangers are equally real.

“Without a qualified master, the profound path of Vajrayana can lead to ruin rather than liberation. The secret teachings are powerful, but if they are practiced without proper guidance, they become a cause of downfall.” -Dilgo Kheynste Rinpoche

“Whoever lacks faith and respect for the guru, even if they practice the Secret Mantra, will be reborn in the hells. The guru is the root of all blessings and accomplishments; without him, there is no path.” - Guru Rinpoche

“Without the Guru’s blessing and your own pure vow, Vajrayana’s path brings ruin, not release; The tantric rites, misused, become a snare, Binding thee tighter to samsara’s wheel.” - Milarepa

“Sometimes when people start practicing the Dharma, they become worse, not better” -Trungram Gyalwa Rinpoche

There is wide agreement amongst respected masters on these points, therefore there is no need for me to say anything more about it.

Reflection and the Essence of the Path

The Dharma is vast and deep, yet the core teaching remains simple: Bodhicitta. As Khenchen Rinpoche showed me, bodhicitta—the aspiration to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all sentient beings—is the beginning, the middle and the end of the path. Vajrayana exists solely to establish us in unshakable bodhicitta. Through unwavering practice, we return to this again and again.

Despite the turbulence of samsara, the key is perseverance. Every time I was distracted, Khenchen Rinpoche gently guided me back to bodhicitta and continued to redirect me and refocus me again, and again to the same point: Bodhicitta. It is the purpose, the aspiration, the path and the destination. It is the object of meditation, and it is the very nature of mind.

Khenchen Rinpoche, often advised students to study the lives of great masters—Tilopa, Naropa, Marpa, Milarepa, Gampopa, and the Karmapas—so that when we face inevitable obstacles, we can draw inspiration from their hardships. He told me directly “Pray to the lineage masters and request their help that bodhicitta will increase in your mind”

Transforming Oneself into a Worthy Vessel

"The disciple should be like an unbroken vessel, free from the three defects: Not listening, like an overturned vessel; Not retaining, like a leaking vessel; Mixing the teachings with afflictions, like a poisoned vessel." - Gampopa

Receiving Vajrayana teachings is not just an intellectual pursuit—it is a transmission that requires the student to be receptive like a well-prepared vessel. If the vessel leaks, the pure dharma nectar cannot be contained. The student must diligently patch these holes through devotion, practice, ethical discipline, and purification. This is the student’s responsibility. The teacher can not do this for us. We must establish ourselves as disciplined practitioners if we wish to receive the blessing and instructions.

Khenchen Rinpoche said "Practice without expecting any results. However, after sixty years of meditation, there should be some results." 

There will be twists and turns, pitfalls, joys, surprises, pain, and gorgeous vistas. And if we truly want to conquer our ego, there will also be burning. A great fire can burn down your home, or it can illuminate your path, or both.

The key point is to continuously redirect the mind toward bodhichitta. My advice after 25 years, for what it may, or may not be worth, is this:  Don’t speak about your meditation practice. It’s one of the quickest ways to cause a leak in your own vessel. And never, never give up.

Gratitude

I hold immense gratitude for Lama Ole. He prepared me to meet my root guru Khenchen Rinpoche. Today, after 25 years of practice, and now, as a nonsectarian Rime practitioner, I will accept Mahayana teachings from any lineage or teacher that embodies compassion and wisdom. However, when it comes to Vajrayana, there are only a few living teachers I would choose to receive instructions from, and one of them is Lama Ole. Vajrayana requires a thread of unbreakable commitment. Once the door is opened, it cannot be closed without consequence. A genuine vajrayana teacher with pure Bodhicitta knows us better than we know ourselves. These teachers are rare and precious. In the beginning, I thought the teacher held 90% of the responsibility in the relationship. Now I see that the student does.

"This precious jewel of bodhicitta, born within the mind, I must guard it well, for it is the elixir that heals the suffering of all beings." -Shantideva

“May the precious bodhicitta arise where it has not yet arisen, Where it has arisen, may it never decline, but increase more and more.” - Atisha Dipamkara Shrijnana